Victim vs. Survivor: Owning Your Story, Reclaiming Your Power

Victim vs. Survivor: Owning Your Story, Reclaiming Your Power

The words victim and survivor are often used interchangeably when discussing narcissistic abuse, but they hold very different meanings. Being a victim is never a choice—narcissistic abuse happens through manipulation, deceit, and control, and no one willingly signs up for that. 

However, becoming a survivor is a choice—a difficult one, but a powerful one. At Loving U Healing U (LUHU), we understand how complex this journey is, and we are here to support you as you step into your strength.

Being a Victim Is Not Your Fault

One of the biggest hurdles survivors face is overcoming the shame and self-blame that often comes with being a victim of abuse. Society tends to ask, Why didn’t you leave? instead of asking, Why did they abuse you in the first place? The reality is that narcissistic abuse is designed to trap, manipulate, and condition you into doubting yourself.

• Love bombing makes you believe in a false fairytale connection. It is a form of brainwashing and can set you up to more easily accept the manipulation to come.

• Gaslighting rewires your reality, making you question your perceptions.

• Intermittent reinforcement keeps you hooked in a cycle of highs and lows.

• Isolation removes your support system, leaving you dependent on the abuser.

If any of this sounds familiar, know this: None of this is your fault. 

Narcissists and abusers are skilled at targeting compassionate, empathetic, and kind-hearted individuals. Your love, trust, and commitment were not weaknesses—they were used against you. That is on them, not you.

Becoming a Survivor Is a Choice

Recognizing the abuse is one thing, but deciding to heal from it is another. 

Choosing survival means reclaiming your life, your mind, and your power.

It’s not easy—leaving, processing trauma, and rebuilding your sense of self takes time. But each small step forward is a declaration that you will no longer be controlled by what happened to you.

• Setting boundaries is a powerful first step in taking back control. Take our Breaking Boundaries Survey to learn more about how you can go from boundary breaking to boundary making. 

• Seeking knowledge about narcissistic abuse helps you validate your experiences. LUHU can support this journey through surveys, blogs, linked resources and more.

• Finding community ensures you don’t have to go through this alone. Join our digital community for a safe space to find support.- Launching This Spring! 

• Prioritizing self-care allows you to heal emotionally, mentally, and physically. It’s ok to put yourself first. Your needs matter.

At LUHU, we recognize how hard this journey can be, and we are here to help you navigate it at your own pace. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone—but you don’t have to do it alone.

LUHU: Your Partner in Healing

Loving U Healing U was created by survivors, for survivors. We offer resources, support, and community spaces designed to uplift and empower those breaking free from narcissistic relationships. Whether you’re just beginning to recognize the signs of abuse or you’re years into your healing journey, LUHU is here to walk alongside you.

You are not just a victim—you are a survivor. And with the right support, you can step into a future that is free, strong, and filled with self-love.

If you're ready to take the next step in your healing journey, LUHU is here for you.